Tuesday, November 26, 2013

4 Things On Dealing With People Who Dislike You

By Mihran Kalaydjian, CHA

 
 
No man is an island. It is an old adage that we always stumble upon, but like many facts of life that we always stow away in the deepest chambers of our minds, we keep on forgetting that we are not alone. As such, we deal with people everyday: strangers, friends, family. But we must remember that this world is a hodgepodge of billions of people with individual personalities and ideals.
 
Sometimes I hear stories of people who get depressed because somebody does not like them. Sometimes it is a colleague, or the parents of their boy/girlfriend. There are stories of people getting dumped with they want to engage in romance and start their own love stories, or simply because they had different ideals in life. Others may not even like us because of envy and any ill intentions that they have. And maybe the worst standard of dislike is physical appearance, and yes, some people dislike others solely because of looks.
 
We all have our reasons why we dislike people. I myself am guilty of having reservations on people whose behaviors, ideals, and habits don't sit well with my personality. I am sure though that I get a fair share of this bitter slice of pie. While I have friends that I adore and who adore me back, there are some who do not like my personality, my ideals, and my habits.
 
When somebody needs to talk about getting depressed on being disliked or resented, I always remind them some things that I think are useful.
 
1) We cannot please everybody. As said, in a world of billions of people, ideals and personalities always clash. It is a world made up not only of white, but also black and gray, and some shades of red and blue.
 
2) Don't force your self on people who do not like you. Get out and try to meet new people. For sure, there are always people who will appreciate not what you have or what you can give, but for who you are.
 
3) It is normal to feel bad about this for some time, but at the end of the day, the ones who get eaten by this negativity is the one who loses the fight. Just take it as an opportunity to ask yourself “Is there something that I do wrong?” If you do not find something that you need to improve or correct, then just move on and leave that negativity behind.
 
4) We cannot change everything. We do not have control over other people's impressions and thoughts. We cannot dictate them what they should think of or how they need to feel about something.
 
After all, emotions make us human, and emotion is not just about happiness, love, or bliss. It can also be indifference, dislike, anger, sadness, and resentment. It is normal for resentment and indifference to result in hatred or sadness, but after some time it is important to leave these things behind and get the best out of what life has to offer.